Pregnancy
Dec 20, 2024
Dr. Ashley Rawlins, PT, DPT
7 min
If you’ve ever reported pelvic pain to a doctor only to be told you should "try to relax," you’re not alone. Many people with pelvic pain struggle to have providers take them seriously. Nearly a decade ago, I experienced this firsthand.
I started having extreme pelvic pain during intercourse, to the point where I sought medical help. I scheduled an appointment with a gynecologist, hoping for answers. Instead, I left feeling even more confused and dismissed.
Despite telling her how painful penetration was, the gynecologist insisted on a transvaginal ultrasound. It was excruciating—I tensed up, cried, and struggled to get through the procedure. Then came the questions: Was I stressed? Anxious? Did I try relaxing? Finally, she suggested meditation, even pulling up an app on her phone.
While I couldn’t deny that meditation might help with stress, I knew my pain wasn’t just “in my head.” I left that appointment feeling unheard. It took years before I found another provider who truly listened—one who recognized my pain as a very real form of pelvic floor dysfunction and referred me to pelvic floor physical therapy.
Medical gaslighting happens when providers minimize or dismiss your symptoms, often delaying or denying appropriate treatment. This is especially common for people experiencing chronic pelvic pain, including conditions like vulvodynia and vestibulodynia.
When I saw my first gynecologist, my ultrasound came back clear and normal. Because she couldn’t see a physical cause for my pain, it was easy for her to assume it wasn’t real—or that it was purely psychological. This is a common experience for patients with pelvic pain, who are often made to feel like unreliable narrators of their own bodies.
One reason for this dismissal is epistemic injustice, or the tendency to discredit someone’s lived experience. When pain doesn’t have an obvious cause, providers may be more likely to question the patient’s credibility instead of investigating further. Another major contributor is lack of provider training on pelvic pain or any form of pelvic floor dysfunction. As Kimberlee Sullivan, PT, DPT, WCS, Head of Clinics at Origin said in the 2024 State of Pelvic Floor PT Report, "Right now, the majority of providers are ignoring the pelvic floor."
“Dismissal and gaslighting behaviors are incredibly harmful to the patients who experience them,” explained Dr. Chailee Moss, an OB/GYN at the Centers for Vulvovaginal Disorders. She is also a medical researcher for an upcoming study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine on vulvovaginal pain and medical gaslighting.
“Generally in our practice we hear a lot about how patients don’t feel heard, and we wanted to figure out how often this was happening to our patients, in addition to developing a tool to measure it in the population in general,” she explained. “I was a gynecology patient myself with similar concerns to the ones I currently treat; I encountered some of the behaviors we asked about, so this [research] was also personal for me.”
If you’ve had to fight to be taken seriously, research shows you’re far from alone. A preliminary publication of the study found that:
These statistics validate what so many people with pelvic pain already know: gaslighting in medical settings isn’t rare—it’s a pattern with real, devastating consequences.
Being dismissed by a provider doesn’t just delay treatment. It can impact your emotional well-being, financial stability, and willingness to seek care at all.
Dr. Moss mentioned that medical gaslighting isn’t exclusive to vulvovaginal care, but a larger systemic problem within the healthcare industry. “We need to do the studies in larger populations to really determine the broader prevalence of this behavior and the consequences it has on patient’s care long-term.”
If you’ve experienced medical gaslighting, you deserve better. While systemic change is necessary, there are steps you can take to protect yourself in the meantime:
If you’ve ever walked out of a doctor’s office feeling unheard, don't give up! Yes, medical gaslighting is real, and it’s something many people with pelvic pain have experienced. But you can get compassionate, effective care from a provider who will validate you and treat you with respect.
Curious about pelvic floor PT but not ready to book a visit? Our quiz can help you take your next steps with confidence.