These Stats on Medical Gaslighting & Pelvic Pain Are Unacceptable

If you’ve ever reported pelvic pain to a doctor only to be told you should "try to relax," you’re not alone. Many people with pelvic pain struggle to have providers take them seriously. Nearly a decade ago, I experienced this firsthand.

I started having extreme pelvic pain during intercourse, to the point where I sought medical help. I scheduled an appointment with a gynecologist, hoping for answers. Instead, I left feeling even more confused and dismissed.

Despite telling her how painful penetration was, the gynecologist insisted on a transvaginal ultrasound. It was excruciating—I tensed up, cried, and struggled to get through the procedure. Then came the questions: Was I stressed? Anxious? Did I try relaxing? Finally, she suggested meditation, even pulling up an app on her phone.

While I couldn’t deny that meditation might help with stress, I knew my pain wasn’t just “in my head.” I left that appointment feeling unheard. It took years before I found another provider who truly listened—one who recognized my pain as a very real form of pelvic floor dysfunction and referred me to pelvic floor physical therapy.

Why does medical gaslighting happen?

Medical gaslighting happens when providers minimize or dismiss your symptoms, often delaying or denying appropriate treatment. This is especially common for people experiencing chronic pelvic pain, including conditions like vulvodynia and vestibulodynia.

When I saw my first gynecologist, my ultrasound came back clear and normal. Because she couldn’t see a physical cause for my pain, it was easy for her to assume it wasn’t real—or that it was purely psychological. This is a common experience for patients with pelvic pain, who are often made to feel like unreliable narrators of their own bodies.

One reason for this dismissal is epistemic injustice, or the tendency to discredit someone’s lived experience. When pain doesn’t have an obvious cause, providers may be more likely to question the patient’s credibility instead of investigating further. Another major contributor is lack of provider training on pelvic pain or any form of pelvic floor dysfunction. As Kimberlee Sullivan, PT, DPT, WCS, Head of Clinics at Origin said in the 2024 State of Pelvic Floor PT Report, "Right now, the majority of providers are ignoring the pelvic floor."

You’re not imagining your pelvic pain

“Dismissal and gaslighting behaviors are incredibly harmful to the patients who experience them,” explained Dr. Chailee Moss, an OB/GYN at the Centers for Vulvovaginal Disorders. She is also a medical researcher for an upcoming study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine on vulvovaginal pain and medical gaslighting.

“Generally in our practice we hear a lot about how patients don’t feel heard, and we wanted to figure out how often this was happening to our patients, in addition to developing a tool to measure it in the population in general,” she explained. “I was a gynecology patient myself with similar concerns to the ones I currently treat; I encountered some of the behaviors we asked about, so this [research] was also personal for me.”

If you’ve had to fight to be taken seriously, research shows you’re far from alone. A preliminary publication of the study found that:

• Patients with vulvovaginal pain see an average of 5.7 providers before getting an accurate diagnosis or treatment.
• 42 percent felt unsupported, while 27 percent were belittled and 21 percent felt outright disbelieved.
• 45 percent were told to "just relax," implying their pain was stress-related rather than a legitimate medical condition.
• 55 percent considered giving up seeking care because they felt their concerns were not being addressed.
• 39 percent reported feeling "crazy" due to feeling dismissed by a medical provider.

These statistics validate what so many people with pelvic pain already know: gaslighting in medical settings isn’t rare—it’s a pattern with real, devastating consequences.

How medical gaslighting can affect you

Being dismissed by a provider doesn’t just delay treatment. It can impact your emotional well-being, financial stability, and willingness to seek care at all.

It can cause:

• Loss of trust in healthcare providers. If you’ve been dismissed multiple times, you might start avoiding doctors altogether.
• Self-doubt and distress. Many people begin to question their own pain, wondering if they’re overreacting or imagining things.
• Reduced self-advocacy. If you’re continually invalidated, it becomes harder to push for the care you need.

It can lead to:

• Delays in diagnosis and treatment, allowing conditions to worsen over time.
• Financial strain from seeing multiple providers before finding one who listens.
• Avoidance of medical care, which can leave conditions untreated for years.

Dr. Moss mentioned that medical gaslighting isn’t exclusive to vulvovaginal care, but a larger systemic problem within the healthcare industry. “We need to do the studies in larger populations to really determine the broader prevalence of this behavior and the consequences it has on patient’s care long-term.”

How to advocate for yourself

If you’ve experienced medical gaslighting, you deserve better. While systemic change is necessary, there are steps you can take to protect yourself in the meantime:

1. Trust your experience. If you’re in pain, it’s real. You don’t need a provider’s validation to believe yourself.
2. Find a provider who specializes in pelvic pain. Not all gynecologists are trained in diagnosing conditions like vulvodynia or pelvic floor dysfunction—seeking out a specialist like a pelvic floor physical therapist can make a difference.
3. Bring notes to your appointment. Write down your symptoms, what makes them better or worse, and any treatments you’ve tried.
4. Use firm but clear language. If a provider dismisses your pain, say: “I need you to take my pain seriously and help me explore treatment options.”
5. Seek a second (or even third) opinion. If a provider isn’t listening, you don’t have to stay. Keep looking until you find someone who does.

If you’ve ever walked out of a doctor’s office feeling unheard, don't give up! Yes, medical gaslighting is real, and it’s something many people with pelvic pain have experienced. But you can get compassionate, effective care from a provider who will validate you and treat you with respect.

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