It's National Cancer Survivor Month, and we're addressing something that deserves more attention: how cancer treatment affects sex and intimacy. If you're wondering whether what you're experiencing is common, or if things will ever feel good again—you're not alone, and we have answers.

Cancer doesn’t just affect your cells. It impacts your energy, hormones, body image, mindset and relationships. While your care team is likely focused on treatment and survival, the intimate side effects like loss of desire, vaginal dryness, pain, or emotional disconnect often go unspoken.

But intimacy is still important. It’s not just about sex, it’s about connection. With yourself. With your body. With your partner. And yes, it can feel complicated or even scary. You might not feel like yourself. You might be afraid of letting each other down. 

Here's what we want you to know: these changes are common, they're treatable, and you deserve support. Your body has been through a lot, but that doesn't mean comfortable intimacy is off the table.

Let’s open the conversation with honesty and compassion. “Because thriving after cancer means more than just being alive; it means feeling alive”, as Marisa advocates.

How cancer treatment affects intimacy

Cancer treatment impacts more than just the tumor. It can affect your hormones, nerves, circulation, and how you relate to your body. While intimacy changes are especially common with urogynecological and colorectal cancers, any type of cancer and its treatment can disrupt sexual health.

Physical side effects that can disrupt sex and desire 

• Hormonal changes from treatments like chemotherapy or hormone blockers can cause vaginal dryness, decreased interest in sex, and thinning of vaginal tissue all of which make intimacy more difficult and sometimes painful.
  
  
• Radiation and surgery in the pelvic area may lead to scar tissue, nerve damage, or pelvic floor dysfunction, affecting arousal and comfort during sex.  In some cases, especially after pelvic radiation or breast cancer treatment with estrogen-suppressing therapies, vaginal wall collapse or stenosis can occur. Without preventive care like vaginal dilation these changes can cause long-term pain and loss of function.
  
  
• Fatigue and body image changes like scars, hair loss, weight changes, or an ostomy can reduce desire or confidence.
  
  
• Nerve and vascular changes may also reduce genital sensation or arousal response.
  
  

This is increasingly common because treatments often affect healthy cells alongside cancer cells, including those involved in sexual function and hormone balance.

Emotional & relational impact

Cancer can shake the foundation of our relationships. Many people diagnosed with cancer report a negative impact on sexual identity, sexual functioning, and their sexual relationship.

Your partner may be your caregiver. Your routine might revolve around medical appointments. Stress, fear, and uncertainty can affect your mood. Your body and mind may feel unfamiliar.

This emotional toll impacts both partners.

• Communication breaks down. Both may fear saying the wrong thing, leading to silence.
• Desire mismatch. One partner may seek physical closeness, while the other feels unready.
• Guilt and resentment. You may feel guilty for not recovering quickly or even having cancer in the first place, while your partner may feel helpless.
• Financial stress. Medical bills and caregiving demands can strain your household. This stress can seep into your relationship.

These feelings are common and can be overcome—with communication, support, expert guidance and time.

“Physical changes from cancer treatment impact relationships, myself, and how I feel. Not just in moments of intimacy but as a woman.”

-Marisa Peters, survivor, advocate, Origin advisor, former Broadway vocalist and host of the podcast From Carpools To Chemo while founding BeSeen.care.

Her words resonate with many: intimacy is more than the bedroom. It relates to identity, self-worth, safety, and trust—especially in uncertain times.

The good news? You’re not alone, and there are ways to restore intimacy and comfort with the right support, treatment, and care.

If you're experiencing any of these symptoms you’re not alone. And more importantly: you’re not broken. There are clinical strategies, therapies, and supports that can help you reclaim intimacy on your terms. 

Intimacy during cancer treatment: staying connected in a shifting reality

During treatment, juggling side effects and uncertainty, intimacy may feel like an afterthought. Or perhaps it’s something you miss and don’t know how to bring back into your life.

Here’s the truth: Even during treatment, intimacy is possible. It may look different. It may need patience and courage. But you don’t have to wait until “it’s all over” to feel close again.

Redefining what intimacy means

Sometimes we need to remember: Intimacy can be as simple as watching a show together on the couch, sharing a quiet cup of coffee in the morning, or a hug during a hard day.

This season might invite you to redefine what intimacy looks like: to choose connection over performance, presence over pressure, and comfort over old expectations.

It’s not settling for less. It’s honoring where your body is now and making space for closeness in all its forms.

Here are some ideas to start:

• Schedule “connection time” unrelated to sex or caregiving.
• Cuddle, hold hands, or lay next to each other without pressure.
• Explore new types of touch—massages, baths, or breathing exercises together.
• Use pillows or positions that support comfort.
• Try lubricants to ease discomfort, especially with dryness.
• Explore hormone replacement with your urogynocologist.

Consider seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist for support with pain, tension, or reconnecting to your body safely.

Communication about sex during cancer is part of intimacy too

Let’s be honest: it can feel awkward or even selfish to talk about your intimacy concerns. How do you discuss sex when your body feels foreign, or when your partner seems hesitant?

Here’s how: gently, honestly, and often.

Try saying:

• “I miss feeling close to you, even if I’m unsure what that looks like.”
• “I feel nervous about what my body can do. Can we explore this together?”
• “I’d love just to hold each other tonight.”

You don’t need all the answers. You just need the willingness to express what’s real from your perspective. If talking feels difficult, consider couples counseling or sex therapy for a safe space.

Rebuilding intimacy after cancer treatment

Cancer changes your body and how you connect. While treatment focuses on survival, rebuilding intimacy begins afterward.

It’s okay if things feel unfamiliar. It’s OK if sex doesn’t feel the same. And it’s more than okay to say: “I don’t know where to begin.”

Healing your intimate life isn’t about returning to the past. It’s about creating something new with grace, curiosity, and a little help.

Take it slow: Reconnect with your partner

Let’s make it clear: You are allowed to take your time.

Focus on feeling safe, seen and satisfied in your relationships. To get started, try these steps:

• Begin with non-sexual intimacy like holding hands while taking a walk 
• Openly discuss fears, preferences, and boundaries with your partner.
• Use lubricants or props to ease pain and enhance comfort.
• Explore what kinds of touch feel good now.

Many survivors fear recurrence, which can affect arousal, comfort, and trust. Include this fear in your conversations.

Remember to be gentle with yourself. Your body and heart have been through a lot, and you're still worthy of desire, love, and joy.

Don’t be afraid to seek professional help

Too many survivors, especially women, are told to live with the side effects of cancer care, but symptoms like pain, urinary leaking and  reduced sexual satisfaction are signals that deserve real care.

Marisa Peters knows this all too well. When she noticed blood in her poop, her concerns were dismissed as postpartum recovery or anxiety. But the symptoms worsened. She trusted her gut, pushed for answers, and ultimately was diagnosed with Stage 3b Rectal Cancer. It nearly took her life—but it didn’t have to. With better awareness and earlier action, it could have been prevented. Colorectal cancer is a preventable disease.

That’s why she launched BE SEEN: to make sure no one else is ignored, and to fight for access, early detection, and whole-person care.

As she puts it: “Any concern you have is not too small. It doesn’t deserve to be silenced by you or anyone else.”

And while the system may still be catching up, you don’t have to wait. You can build your own support team—one that treats your body, mind, and relationships.

Here’s what that might include:

• Pelvic floor physical therapy to reduce pain, restore sensation, and support healing.
  
  
• Sex therapy or relationship counseling to help you navigate connection after cancer.
  
  
• Medical experts like OBGYNs, oncologists, or hormone specialists who understand post-treatment intimacy challenges.

Healing means more than survival

Healing isn’t just about surviving—it’s about reclaiming joy, connection, and feeling at home in your body again.

“Working with my care team at Origin helped me reclaim my sense of self, nurture my relationship with my husband and regain my physical endurance,” said Marisa. “Investing in myself by working with Origin proved I could become a better version of myself than before my cancer.”

At Origin, our pelvic health specialists are here to support you with expert care and compassion—because intimacy isn’t a luxury, it’s part of healing. It’s part of our basic human needs.

Want more support after colorectal or gynecological cancer? Read our guide to pelvic floor rehab and recovery.

This National Cancer Survivor Month, let’s honor not just survival—but everything that makes you feel alive.

Sources Cited

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2. Esmat Hosseini, Seyedeh, et al. “Prevalence of Sexual Dysfunction in Women with Cancer: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis.” International Journal of Reproductive BioMedicine (IJRM), 18 Feb. 2022, pp. 1–12, https://doi.org/10.18502/ijrm.v20i1.10403. Accessed 1 June. 2025.
3. Kaufman, Rebekah, et al. “From Diagnosis to Survivorship Addressing the Sexuality of Women during Cancer.” The Oncologist, 1 Sept. 2024, https://doi.org/10.1093/oncolo/oyae242. Accessed 1 June. 2025.
4. Perndorfer, Christine, et al. “Everyday Protective Buffering Predicts Intimacy and Fear of Cancer Recurrence in Couples Coping with Early-Stage Breast Cancer.” Psycho-Oncology, vol. 28, no. 2, 3 Dec. 2018, pp. 317–323, https://doi.org/10.1002/pon.4942. Accessed 2 June 2025.
5. Siqueira, Thaís, et al. “Vaginal Stenosis in Women with Cervical or Endometrial Cancer after Pelvic Radiotherapy: A Cross-Sectional Study of Vaginal Measurements, Risk for Sexual Dysfunction and Quality of Life.” International Urogynecology Journal, vol. 33, no. 3, 23 Apr. 2021, pp. 637–649, https://doi.org/10.1007/s00192-021-04798-8. Accessed 16 June 2025.